I’ve been learning odissi for 4 years now. I had was learning ballet before, and I really liked it but my trainer quit so I had to stop. I took a year’s break and I really wanted to dance again. I really wanted to learn ballet again and sugested to learn ballet in an other place but My father is a fan of odissi and he suggested that I learn it. I was a little reluctant because I still wanted to learn ballet. So he started taking me to odissi performances whenever possible. I gradually started liking it. I went to a performance by nrityantar academy of performing arts and I met madhulita mohapatra. My current guru. She was stunning while performing and the other people who were performing were awesome too. This is when I made up my mind that I wanted to learn odissi. My father and I had a small conversation with her and she suggested we try out her classes. And that’s how it all started!

It’s my 4th exam and I am in my second year in odissi. I was at campus that week and we had to collect the dance exam papers from the institute and submit it that weekend after filling it out! I really wanted to spend time with my friends that weekend but I had to go back home to write the exam and give the papers back to the institute. So during the week when I was at campus I did some research on a few of the questions that I thought were there in the exam. I stayed up all night to find the things I was looking for. I also asked a few of my teachers a few questions to get some clarity. Then I collected all the information like the stuff from the internet, my notes and the other information I got from my teachers and put it all together. Then I read it all and wrote my version of the answers for the exam. I went home on Friday evening and reached home at about 8:30 and crashed onto the bed cause I was really tired. And then on Saturday I finished writing the exam the whole day and I was just relaxing and thinking about my practical exam.

Now back to the present. Right now I have my practical dance exams in an hour’s time and I’m really tense. I gently close my eyes and try to relax as I go into the past

When I had just started my classes the yearly dance exams were going on and everyone was taking the exams. I was also suggested that I should take the exam cause it was gonna give me a head start. It was a little difficult because I was new and I was still learning and catching up with all the dance stuff while the others learned this throughout the year. But I still took the exam. I didn’t know everything that was given in the exam but I was confident with what I know and I wasn’t even asked the questions that I didn’t know so I passed it. After a month or two we had our annual day. We had to start learning dance pieces and I still had to catch up with the others in some theory but I managed to do it. I put in all my focus on the performance and learnt all the other things on the side lines. There were also a lot of other things that we had to manage like the costume, jewelry, how to do the makeup, how do we go to the venue, and things like that. Well a few days later my mom did a trial round of how to do the make up on my face and it turned out great. I put on the costume and jewelry and I loved it. My mom put my hair into a bun and put fresh flowers into the bun. It was awesome! A day before my performance my parents and I went to my cousins house and we spent our time there. The day of my performance arrived and I was really excited. I woke up early in the morning and my performance was the only thing I could think of the whole day. So I got ready and kept pestering my mom so she could start on my makeup. We started it in the afternoon. I had my lunch and did all the makeup, put in the dress and jewellery and I was all set. I practiced a few of the steps of the dance that I thought I would mess up and my parents, aunt and uncle and my cousin got ready in the meantime, Then we were all set. We left to the place I performed and there was a lot of coordination to do so all of that was going on. The place was really tense. People running around everywhere calling out each other’s names backstage, a few warming up and a few getting ready for the performance and there were a few that just arrived and it was all just so lively. There were so many people in the audience my cousin, aunt and uncle were also watching me. It was finally time for my group to perform and I was really scared. I was really nervous, it was a huge stage and at one end there were musicians one holding a tabla, one holding a flute, two others singing for the performance that was going on and at this end of the stage all of my friends and I were standing and getting ready for our performance. The other dancers walked out of the stage and one of my teachers was talking about our performance my heart was beating so fat that it would have just fallen into my hands and I didnt know how to calm down and then all of a sudden my teacher asked all of us to get on the stage and take out positions. She comforted us and said it was ok to make any mistakes but just try your best and just dance your heart out on the stage. So that’s what I did. I made a minor mistake somewhere in the middle of the dance but I just danced my heart out. By the time I even realized the performance was over and I was so relieved. In the performance someone’s piece of jewelry fell off and it hurt a few of the dancers but I was glad it was over. We all walked off the stage and gave each other big hugs and then went to the audience to watch the others perform. My head was starting to hurt because of the tight bun and all the pins on my head and the jewelry made my body feel heavy and I couldn’t stand up properly, I was really tired. My costume felt really tight and I couldn’t breathe properly, I wanted to watch everyone’s performance but I also really wanted to go home and sleep. So I went to my parents and I asked them if we could go back home so then we finished the performance that was going on and wished goodnight to all my friends and teachers and left I took out all my jewelry and the flowers and all the extra pins in the car and. We got home and I immediately changed my clothes. I didn’t want to take off my make-up because I liked it. After all of us relaxed a bit we went to have pizza.

All of us had a blast and I was starving so I had lots. We went back home after a long day and fell asleep! A year passed and I was moved to the next level of the class and I just continued to learn. Then one fine day I was offered to do a performance for a coming festival. I was really excited because this was my first performance to the public other than the nritanta community. I started having extra evening classes with the performance team. All of them were people of my age but were from a different batch. I didn’t know any of them but my friend who was also performing. This time it was a chaotic performance and I was really unhappy. I made a lot of mistakes and I wasn’t happy with my makeup at all and my friend’s costume was coming in the way of her leg so she tripped 3 times on stage! It wasn’t her fault at all and I wasn’t upset because of that I was really upset with myself for such a bad performance that I gave. After some more time I was given another opportunity to perform. This time I wanted to give it my all this time. The choreography was a little hard and I was also performing with a few of my seniors so I was really stressed. It was a complex dance piece but also a really graceful and soft piece. It was called varsh. It was about the rainy season, the peacocks dancing in the rain and about love between two people. I was the male and I had to stand on one of my feet in many parts of the dance and I was always trembling but in the end I managed to do it. I wasn’t completely happy with my performance this time as well. I thought I could do way better and that I didn’t give it my fullest but this time I didn’t make any mistakes and I was way more confident than before. But it was another lesson for me to improve. My next annual day was coming up and my friends and I were getting prepared for that. I was in the center this time with two of my other friends. I was happy with this performance but I always felt like I could do better. Two more years passed and I was moved to the next level again. I was with a few of my seniors! We learnt a few more dance pieces throughout the years and then all of a sudan we all were stuck with the covid situation so we all had our dance exams and classes online. This time everyone was performing from their homes and it was all performed on instagram live. We were supposed to perform two pieces which we were confident with one after the other. And then in the end there would be a small interview kinda thing. I performed a really advanced piece called sankarabharanam and a small dance piece called sthay. I had a rehearsal with my teacher and it was all set. This time I was really confident and I was really happy with my performance. I did two dance pieces back to back for the first time and both with lots of energy and grace and didn’t show how tired I was. All of my relatives were a part of the insta live and they were all really proud. I shared a bit of my interest in the interview like the ocarina and all of them were really curious! Well that was over and all of that happened in the past four years and now… back to the present a few more minutes to my second year dance exam and I’ve just come back into my senses. I’m a little worried but i’m doing ok and I really hope I do well on this exam!